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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

John Cole has a problem with Benadryl. I have a problem with reality.

Does benadryl have a known side effect of giving people bizarre dreams?

Last night, I was a detective who was tracking a mass murderer whose method of killing was to strangle his victims, freeze their bodies, and then use an industrial meat slicer while they were frozen, cut them into little pieces, and then dispose of the carcasses one small package at a time by walking around the neighborhood and feeding the neighborhood dogs. The only reason I, the detective, found out, was because all the dogs in town suddenly started biting their owners as they had developed a taste for human flesh, and I found what looked like an uneaten thick ham steak in one back yard but turned out to be a cross section of a human thigh.

I'm not taking any benadryl, because I can't help thinking of a genuinely bizarre and terrifying twist on Cole's dream.

I fear I would go on to dream that John Yoo would write an op-ed in the Philadelfia Enquirer in which he said I should be fired for dereliction of duty, since I failed to torture the dogs to cause "learned helplessness," which would cause them to bark over actionable intelligence on the murderer.

In my nightmare, an apparently sane person named Daniel Drezner thinks it is possible that social scientists will learn that torture works without noting that experiments which wouldn't result in prison can only be conducted on animals. Then a US employed psychologist decided that the lessons learned torturing dogs gave him the secrets to the human mind making him the only person who knew how to get actionable intelligence out of Abu Zubaida.

I'll be impressed with Cole's weird dreams when they get as twisted as reality.


Anonymous said...

Well done.

Anonymous said...

Even the thought of harming animals wantonly is chilling.