I'd rather be considered PC and humorless than Evil

This is a fun site (via Samantha Burns). Also I really like the fact that you scroll down and click. Most on line quizes and surveys manage to be much more time consuming.

They have this great code they just give you (see far below).

All in all a semi new not totally boring twist on one of the oldest pass times in the universe (older than www) which is so web suited that it has been done a million times on the web.

However, I strongly object to this question "You don't believe in God" this is included on a list about lying cheating stealing violence vengeance etc right after cheating and right before hating kids. How about "you are a Jew" or "you are a moslem" as evil questions. Such questions would be un-acceptable even on a joke site. Why is it OK to make fun of atheists and/or suggest we are evil ?

I am 24% evil, however if I count only evil acts committed after the age of 10, I am 20% evil. Before I turned 10 I was in a fist fight (how many people can claim otherwise ?). I also shoplifted, but, I mean it was a string bean (OK I also stole a bag of baloons but before I was 10).

Since turning 18 I have smoke marijuana (in the USA, Netherlands and Italy) and hashish (in Italy). Personal use of marijuana is, in theory, a crime in the USA so I have broken the law. Clearly to avoid redundancy the law question should be except by personal use of drugs.

I've looked at nudie pics on line,
I've kissed someone I shouldn't be kissing (see below),
I've said something so mean I made someone cry (hey look I have kids you know how easily they cry when criticized also I have made an adult cry),
I have killed an insect (not technically a hymiptera or true bug) in fact I regularly kill mosquitoes and papatacci (don't exist in English speaking countries and much worse than mosquitoes). As a matter of personal preference I do not kill non biting insects including flies.
I've made many promises I was pretty sure I was going to break (mostly about getting things done by any date)
I have cheated but not cheated on a test
I don't believe in God
Once I secretly backstabbed a friend who is still a friend so I won't say who when or how.

I have downloaded music but, as far as I know, it was legal at the time. I intend to illegally download music in the future but I haven't gotten around to it (see promises above).



Post age 10

You Are 20% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

lifetime

You Are 24% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Could be Worse (no Murdoch's involved)

The excellence of the Knight Ridder news service has made many bloggers nervous about the fact that the Knight Ridder newspaper chain is up for sale. The McClatchy Company, a medium-sized California based newspaper publisher just bought them. Could have been worse.

However, McClatchy wants to sell the San Jose Mercury News, the employer of the uncoverers of the Duke Cunningham scandal who have improved the country and provided me with great entertainment for months. I hope the buyer appreciates them (I hear MZM inc is looking to expand in a new line of business now that they can't buy favors).

Also some paper in Philadelfia.

Uh oh. I rank no higher than 4th among bloggers named Waldman[n]

There's this Simon Waldmann guy who out-technorati ranks me plus I think I just made him a flippery fish since he was until this instant the second ranking mollusc in the Truth Laid Bear ecosystem

Slimy Molluscs
10760.Strange Attractor: Picking out patterns from the chaos that is the blogosphere. (14) details
10761.SimonWaldman.net (14) details

You read it here first. Lynn Cheney is indeed running the country. The President just admitted it

"You know there are all these conspiracy theories that Dick runs the country . . . or Karl [Rove] runs the country. Why aren't there any conspiracy theories that I run the country? Really ticks me off. The truth is that I do run the country . . . but Dick runs me and Lynne runs Dick. So actually Lynne runs the country. And Lynne, I think you're doin' a heckuva job. Although I have to say you dropped the ball big time on that Dubai deal."

I have said that for years (except for the bits about the Dubai deal and, certainly, "a heck of a job"). From April 20 2004.

As in Richard Clarke's report on the PEOC on September 11th we see that the person who is really in charge is not Richard Cheney or even Rove but Lynn Cheney

""I want you three guys to shut up," Lynne Cheney said, pointing at Cheney, Wolfowitz and Adelman."

I have searched the US constitution and find no reference to the absolute authority of the spouse of the Vice President.

Waldman[n]'s on the Web

Recently I was accutely irritated to find that I am not one of the top two bloggers named Waldman[n]. I had almost reconciled myself to being overshadowed by a fly who also looks about 10 years younger than I am, when I discovered someone named Steve Waldman at political animal.

To add injury to insult, Steve Waldman is a major idiot as can be demonstrated by quoting this post in full violating fair use restrictions.

Guest: Steve Waldman

I was thinking about the readers who suggested that I had been unfair in claiming a liberal hostility to evangelical Christianity. Fair point, I thought. I probably should have said "many liberals" rather than caricaturing liberalism per se.

But as I was crafting the words for a correction, I came across this passage from "The Left Hand of God," the new book by Rabbi Michael Lerner, a liberal-in-good-standing if ever there was one:

"Overwhelmingly, the white activists who shaped the Left of the 1960s have remained mired in a culture of hostility toward religion and spirituality. [snip]."

[snip] Is he being unfair? I think a distinction should be made between the elites and the rank and file on this. The fact is that most Democrats are religious. But secular liberals, who made up about 16% of the Kerry vote (more stats here) seem to have a disproportionate impact on the party's image and approach.

I think a little editing will show how appalling this post is. I replace "religion and spirituality" with "Christianity", "secular" with "Jewish" and rabbi with Rev.

[I was thinking about the readers who suggested that I had been unfair in claiming a liberal hostility to evangelical Christianity. Fair point, I thought. I probably should have said "many liberals" rather than caricaturing liberalism per se.

But as I was crafting the words for a correction, I came across this passage from "The Left Hand of God," the new book by Rev. Michael Lerner, a liberal-in-good-standing if ever there was one:

"Overwhelmingly, the white activists who shaped the Left of the 1960s have remained mired in a culture of hostility toward Crhistianity. [snip]."

[snip] Is he being unfair? I think a distinction should be made between the elites and the rank and file on this. The fact is that most Democrats are Christian. But Jewish liberals, who made up about x% of the Kerry vote (more stats here) seem to have a disproportionate impact on the party's image and approach.]

The edited statement would earn Waldman an invitation to never again post on Political Animal, as it would be correctly interpreted as displaying monstrous anti semitism. Why is the actual post any more acceptable ?


Waldman divides people into two groups people who are "mired in a culture of hostility toward religion and spirituality" and people who "are religious". Thus he asserts by implication that it is impossible to be reasonable without being religious, that there are no tollerant atheists, and that respect for the religious beliefs of others requires us to be religious. He declare himself to be intollerant by equating beliefs with which he does not agree with hostility towards his beliefs.

Bush is doing relatively well compared to his buddy Silvio

(you know the guy who gave a speach in Italian in the Senate room to 10% of the joint session of congress).

An approaching election can get on one's nerves if one is well behind in the polls. Also prosecutors have just asked a GUP (a judge whose role is similar to that of a grand jury) to indict Berlusconi. This second event is common enough that Berlusconi should be used to it by now.*

The result is that he walked out of a TV studio during an interview accusing Lucia Annunziata of being prejudiced against him (she is a smart and honest person so of course she is). He and his followers complain about media bias (really they are not joking). This is definitely much more absurd than Rupert Murdoch complaining about media bias as Berlusconi controls almost all of Italian TV (the interview was on the public channel whose patronage was assigned to the communists back when they existed. It is the very low budget one of 6 more or less major channels which is not totally biased in favor of Berlusconi. The interview was, I think, part of a deal in which the moderator of the big debate tomorrow is well less pro Berlusconi that Berlusconi is anyway).

But then the breath taking part is that Berlusconi showed the video at a political rally. He claimed that while walking out in a huff when asked tough questions he showed how polite he is.

Really.

Compared to Berlusconi Bush is excessively prone to self criticism.

He also said "Da presidente del Consiglio, giuro che lascio la politica se dimostrano le accuse nei miei confronti" that is 'as prime minister I swear that I will leave politics if they demonstrate the accusations against me." They have already done so at least twice (the second time by the way according to a unanimous verdict by a 3 judge panel the president of which had previously publically called for a moratorium on trials of Berlusconi and his firm). He is not in jail because of the statue of limitations not because of any lack of proof.

Speaking of proof, I have long claimed that, if God exists, He must be principally motivated by a sick sense of humor. As of yesterday, I consider the case proven.
What other possible explanation is there for Berlusconi's electoral strategy ?




*Foreigner's might not know this but the usual pattern is that he is indeed indicted. Then maybe he changes the law so his act is no longer a crime. Then he is tried and convicted or maybe acquited on the grounds that the statute of limitations has run out or (once) acquited on the grounds that the act is no longer a crime. So he appeals (always a right). The final judgement of fact has often been that his acts were criminal when committed (4 separate cased). He has not been finally convicted because of an amnesty (Villa Maccario), the change in the law (Al Iberian II falso in bilancio) and the statute of limitations (Al Ibirian I huge illegal donation to Craxi, Toghe sporche II (Ariosto) money paid from Berlusconi's bank account to Renato Squillante a crooked judge). The statute of limitations clock does not stop when charges are brought and good lawyers can delay things indefinitely. Also the Italian courts are very slow even when not hampered by defence attorneys whose traditional role is to delay things (Berlusconi's lawyers do this only part time as they are also members of parliament and spend some of their time changing the law).

This makes Berlusconi's recent pledge even more absurd than it would otherwise be.

Clearly Berlusconi understands that Italians find the Italian judicial system impossibly complicated (true) and boring (tutti i gusti sono gusti I love it). Thus they notice he is not in jail and all Italians who have checked and noted that he has been found guilty but not punishable again and again never voted for him to begin with.

I've always wondered if the Republican President who did the most harm might be the first one. If Lincoln had just let the South secede we would have Canada with decent weather.

I admit that the confederate states of america would have been a hell hole for a while, but with the underground railroad as long as a subway line, African Confederate Americans would have mostly managed to escape and the remaining confederates would have have reaped the wages of contempt for progress and education (mainly cotton, as in, you reap what we sew).

I'd say pretty soon they would have applied for re-admission and accepted a reasonable deal, such as this: every White person born south of the Mason-Dixon line (such as myself) counts as three fifths of a man.

Instead honest Abe managed to make his degenerate successors almost unbeatable as soon as the neo confederates got over their anger at the emancipation proclamation.

I'm getting confused by all the Republican scandals

When I read this "Are there any Republican political types who aren't crooks?" I thought Digby was talking about Claude Allen
you know that Claude Allen. In fact (s)he was talking about Kenneth Tomlinson.

This does underline the pertinence of the question.

And just below, I bragged to Italians that in America political women are not just window dressing but are involved in the serious business of laundering money (I live in Italy). My example was Barbara Bonfiglio, whose Cognome just shouts Italia --- he uh wait

(smacks hand against forehead) oh yeah I forgot about Italia Federici.

Bonfiglio di Buona Donna*

One of the striking features of the Italian "mani pulite" scandal (recall most Italian politicians in the parliamentary majority were caught taking bribes) was the fact that all of the crooked politicos were men as were all of the crooked businessmen who bribed them. At the time there were a fair number of apparently powerful female politicians in Italy. The scandal showed that they were window dressing, with fancy titles but no role in the real business of for profit public service.

Now that US corruption is being exposed, I have been wondering how many women are involved in the hidden process of buying and selling legislature. Susan Ralston doesn't count, because, whatever her title, her role was as a trusted secretary gate and secret keeper -- the Rosemarry Woods of the 21st century. Katherine Harris doesn't count because the deadline November 9, 2000 (one week after the election and my 40th birthday) has passed.

Now I find Barbara Bonfiglio practicing the worlds newest profession -- lobbyist/leadership PAC manager.

During her tenure as a lobbyist from 1998 to 2001, Bonfiglio mastered the demanding jobs of both overseeing the finances of 31 political committees—more than half of which were campaign committees and leadership PACs—while lobbying for six companies at the D.C. law firm Williams & Jensen. In addition to running FEC-regulated committees, Bonfiglio was also the treasurer of five 527 organizations once connected to members of Congress, which were allowed to raise money without contribution limits.

I blush to admit that the blatantness of politicians having a lobbyist manage their legal slush funds amazed me . It is especially humiliating to admit to such naivity so soon after admitting my age.


* the literal translation of the title is Bonfiglio good woman. However, I indend to hint at figlio di buona donna literally "son of a good woman" which, in Italy, is unmistakably a polite way to say "figlio di putana" that is "son of a prostitute" and is used to mean "son of a bitch." stressing the newness of Ms Bonfiglio's profession, I attempt to make clear that the title of this post reflects only the Bon and figlio in her name and does not imply anything else at all.

Dos Dissed

in this brilliant post on infinite meta, Sifu Tweety writes "we’re still using the old paradigm of meaning and they’re busily deploying the equivalent of malware and DOS attacks." I was puzzled by "DOS attacks" thinking "what as opposed to windows and mac attacks." Then, suddenly feeling very old, I realised that nowadays DOS stands for "denial of service" not disk operating system," although the level of use friendliness of DOS does make the referrent ambiguous.

Now, I'd like to point out two things. First when I clicked on programs then accessories on the Windows98 style start menu I use with my Windows XP system, the only item that appeared in the mini menu was c:\ (the DOS prompt for you youngsters) as that was the accessory I used most recently. This reminds me of how much I hate Windows mini menus that make you click twice to see the icon you want to click.

Now how about that meta.

Try to top blogging about the acronym of an metaphor in a blogpost about infinite meta.

Imprudent Prudential Lobbyist or What happened to Chuck's Brain

The daily muck quotes Chuck Brain who is ingenius and ingenuous

The "Monday Meetings" between Senate Democrats and lobbyist allies were going well, or as one Dem lobbyist put it:

"If you could lay out the team concept on a spectrum, from one end - which is, 'you've gone to the dark side,' to the other end - which is, 'give me the bill language, I'm going to the floor to introduce it' - we [were] moving up the spectrum," said Chuck Brain of Capitol Hill Strategies, who lobbies for Wachovia, Amgen and Prudential.

OK Chuck let me explain a thing or two. YOU have gone over to the dark side, Paul Kiel has not. He may or may not be your friend, but he is not going to cover for you. It is very unwise for a lobbyist to have himself quoted by name saying "give me the bill language, I'm going to the floor to introduce it." Congress persons might, for all I know, actually say "give me the bill language, I'm going to the floor to introduce it." from time to time, but they certainly never say it to lobbyists who have let the world know that the words "give me the bill language, I'm going to the floor to introduce it" have ever passed their lips.

Your command of the English language is impressive. Now try to take control of your tongue. Or, hell, you just blew your career as a lobbyist. Why don't you come over to the non dark side, name names, and become a muck raker.

Sitting Here in Rome Following the Texas Primary Election,

I understand that I have a problem.

However, I have my limits.

U.S. House - District 16 - Dem Primary - 60 of 163 Precincts Reporting - 36.81%
Name Votes Pct
Reyes, Silvestre (i) 19,984
Artalejo, Jorge Dem 0

OUCH.

I feel sorry for Mr Artalejo but I am not going to stay up to see if he eventually gets his own vote.

The Great TV Man in the World's Greatest Deliberative Body.

Way late, I attempt to explain to my countrypeople the utter absurdity of the prime-minister, TV monopolist and richest man in my adopted country. The one and only (thank God) Silvio Berlusconi.

Unlike most Americans, I actually had a chance to listen to his speach to a joint session of congress, since one of his TV stations broadcasted it. Also I understand Italian quite well, and can sometimes make sense of the sounds coming out of Berlusconi's mouth (think George Bush but not so dignified and humble).

Turns out that many people in the audience didn't know what he was saying (he spoke in Italian and they had a written translation). I told Italians this, and they didn't believe it, but the claim is made by an actual Congressman. Also Arwen has a brilliant parody.

A few posts ago, I found myself discussing shovelling shit, and that reminded me of the perfect joke which captures Berlusconi in a nutshell (wonderful thought that).

Finally the joke, which, for all I know, I might be translating for the first time

God is angry with the Italians and decides that from now on they will all have to spend the rest of eternity shovelling shit. He decides to inform them via three politicians, Piero Fassino (head of the ex communist party), Pierferdinando Casini (head of one of the surviving splinters of the christian democratic party) and Silvio Berlusconi.

Fassino is crushed (this is funny because he always looks crushed). He says, "comrads I have terrible terrible news for you. We were wrong about everything. God exists. And what's worse we all have to shovel shit"

Casini says "Friends I have good news and bad news. We were right God exists. On the other hand we have to shovel shit forever."


Berlusconi says "Guys I have great news for you. God asked if he could have a minute with me and, together, we solved the problem of Italian unemployment."

Now the guy is in deep deep legal and political shit and there must be a pony somewhere.

Dusty's Water or the Foggo of War.

At least Larry Johnson likes dumb puns too.

It looks like the number three guy in CIA may be in big trouble because of allegations about a sweetheart water deal in Iraq. The guy in the crosshairs, Kyle Dustin (Dusty) Foggo, is currently the Executive Director of the CIA.

Will Dusty twist in the wind in the latest modified limited hangout ? Hope so, but he's not a big fish so this only rates a mini minipony (also google is having trouble keeping up with GOP corruption)



Update: Josh Marshall also likes dumb puns. In fact he likes the very same dumb pun I like.

"The Foggo of war. (Hint|: the Duke/Wilkes link into the CIA). That and other news of the day in today's Daily Muck."

Katrina is Back

The record of a video conference call is forcing the Bush administration to tell lies even more absurd than is usual for them.

Three days after Hurricane Katrina wiped out most of New Orleans, President Bush appeared on television and said, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

[snip]

Echoing Bush's own later explanation, Duffy said yesterday that the president in his now-famous Sept. 1 comment did not mean that no one had ever anticipated breaches of the levees that guard New Orleans from flooding.

It doesn't depend on what the definition of "is" is, nor does it depend on the definition of "don't", "think, "anybody", "anticipated", "breach" or "levees" either. Duffy is lying about Bush's lie.

Now, back in the day, I, like many more serious people, was interested in the comparison of Bush and Nero fiddling while Rome burned. Sad to say, I found it difficult to find any solid evidence that Nero had, indeed, sung of the fall of Troy to a lyre while Rome burned. Bush is not likely to get away with a reputation as relatively intact as Nero's because of the availability of digital data storage systems not bought from MZM inc.

Contrast Nero



and Bush



Clearly a case of reincarnation, but Nero is in a much more digfified pose.

Texas Sues Bush

Texas and four other states whose legal efforts do not constitute cosmic Karma claim that Medicare plan D is an unconstitutional direct tax on states (with revenues not proportional to population). Yesterday, when I was young and stupid, I thought that the discovery of corruption in the granting of the contract contract for digital storage of the fruits of illegal spying on Americans was the most wonderful news story imaginable. Now I am storing up minipony images to express ... uhm well ... this emotion

They Hit the Trifecta

Due to corruption $ 6 million were wasted buying a mass data storage system to be used to keep track of threats like peace rallies in Quaker meeting houses doesn't work.
The aim of the now famous corruption of rep[rehensible] Duke Cunningham was to get money for MZM from "the Pentagon's newest and fastest-growing intelligence agency, the Counterintelligence Field Activity, which has spent more than $1 billion, mostly for outsourced services, since its establishment in late 2002," Thus there is a link between super secret domestic espionage sorry "counterintelligence" with no oversight and raiding the Treasury.

If there were a Democrat Senator with a brain, he or she could use this to get people interested in the NSA scandal. Arguing against oversight is arguing for corruption and abuse. Even people who do not care about abuse hate corruption.



update: Welcome DeLongians. For your convenience I have pulled econgeek's comment and my reply into the post

Comments:
Dear Robert,
A few posts back you asked; "would my posts give an AI program with actual intelligence the impression that I am regularly drunk, tweaked and blasted"?

I think the image at the end of this post answers that question as sucintly as posible.

really, wtf?
# posted by econgeek : 11:59 PM

All us reelly kool bloggers celebrate extremely bad news for Bush with photos of cute little ponies.

See http://atrios.blogspot.com/2005_10_02_atrios_archive.html
or
especially
http://www.thepoorman.net/2005/10/28/ponies-too-cheap-to-meter/

I don't have the faintest idea why, but I am blindly obeying the blog borg.

Also I found a lot of really really saccharine pony photos on Italian sites, so I think that, at least in this, I can compete with Atrios and the editors.

As people who clicked here know, Brad has a theory that the ur-pony was presented by Belle Waring "I thought it was in homage to Belle Waring's best weblog post ever: If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Ride -- A Pony!:".

In comments (to Brad) Patrick Taylor makes it a ur-pony trifecta

"The Pony is a many-splendoured thing.

I remember another --probably unrelated-- Pony story about digging through piles of horseshit hoping to find a pony."

Sadly I amplify



Ah yes, The Third Pony is highly apposite.

The very old and not very funny joke as told by my dad is that there are two kids the pessimist and the optimist who get Christmas presents -- the pessimist gets a lot of nice gifts and the optimist gets a huge pile of shit and a shovel. The joke goes on for a long time about why the pessimist is not pleased with his many gifts. Then we visit the optimist who is shovelling manure and whistling happily. When asked why he says "with all this shit there must be a pony somewhere."

Now looking up the thread one sees how Holden might have bet a Pony after obsessing with the gaggle as in "with all this bullshit there must be a pony somewhere -- na short of a bull-pony chimera that doesn't work ..." etc etc.

Speaking of shovelling shit jokes, I am humilated to have let the daily kos scoop me on the absurdity of Silvio Berlusconi. In my own defence I note that Jim McDermott was there being the representative of Washington States 7th district, which means that an actual US congressman is pleased to contribute a humble diary on the blogborg founded by an El Salvadoran immigrant. Only in America. Absolutely seriously does this show that the USA is (still) a great country or what ?

So I will create a closed time like loop at great personal risk to link to a Berlusconi joke post which I have not yet written as well as to Arwen who insists on anonymity.

Jane Hamsher quotes from the subscription only strafor report (via Gosprey). She writes that when she reads it "I always feel like I'm getting a look into the belly of the beast." I have not had that dubious pleasure until now and I am amazed at how beastly the beast seems to be.

The point here is not to argue the merits of the Dubai ports deal, but rather to place the business deal in the context of the U.S. grand strategy. That strategy is, again, to split the Islamic world into its component parts, induce divisions by manipulating differences, and to create coalitions based on particular needs. This is, currently, about the only strategy the United States has going for it -- and if it can't use commercial relations as an inducement in the Muslim world, that is quite a weapon to lose.

[snip]



"In effect, Bush's strategy and his domestic politics have intersected with potential fratricidal force. The fact is that the U.S. strategy of dividing the Muslim world and playing one part off against the other is a defensible and sophisticated strategy -- even if does not, in the end, turn out to be successful (and who can tell about that?) This is not the strategy the United States started with; the strategy emerged out of the failures in Iraq in 2003. But whatever its origins, it is the strategy that is being used, and it is not a foolish strategy.

The problem is that the political coalition has eroded to the point that Bush needs all of his factions, and this policy -- particularly because of the visceral nature of the ports issue -- is cutting into the heart of his coalition. The general problem is this: The administration has provided no framework for understanding the connection between a destroyed mosque dome in As Samarra, an attack against a crucial oil facility in Saudi Arabia, and the UAE buyout of a British ports-management firm. Rather than being discussed in the light of a single, integrated strategy, these appear to be random, disparate and uncoordinated events.

[snip]

So the strategy is to "induce [Moslem] "divisions" the aim being "dividing the Muslim world" and has something to do with "a destroyed mosque dome in As Samarra." I hope that the author of the piece is simply an idiot who doesn't understand that his words imply that he considers the destruction of the "mosque dome in As Samarra" to be a victory a success for the strategy. It certainly divided Moslems. I can't quite convince myself that it is impossible that this writer is so evil that he actually wants a Shi'ite vs Sunni war of religion. Certainly that is what he is saying. Could he possibly mean it ?

Of course he wouldn't be the first. Zarqawi's stated aim is exactly that.

cyberpower of the blogosphere ?

I wonder if all this cyber-wanking and blogger belligerence might not be worth it after all reading this post by Dan Froomkin. Froomkin denounces Bush in no uncertain terms in the cyber pages of www.washingtonpost.com. Let me be clear, the column is fair and as balanced as possible given the astounding abominableness and utter idiocy of our Presedent.
However, I doubt that even the clearly brave and principled Dan Froomkin would have dare write it if fewer than 500 people had objected when Deborah Howell attacked him.

T I believe that the overwhelming (almost) spontaneous solidarity in defence of Mr Froomkin made this totally accurate and to the point column possible. Dan Froomkin might have had the courage to write it in any case, but, without the record of the outpouring of support, it have been his last post.

The Great Helms man in the world's greatest deliberative body.

Driving home from work today I was thinking about this amusing story

"Senator Jesse Helms (R-NC) reportedly embarrassed his staffers by referring to North Korean President Kim Jong Il as "Kim Jong [the second]*" when reading from a prepared speech. To correct this mistake, in Helms's next speech the staffers helpfully spelled the name phonetically as Kim Jong Ill. Helms referred to him that time as Kim Jong the Third."
-- "Brickbats"
Reason Magazine, May 1995

I thought "come on all they had to do was write it Kim Jong IL. That's incorrect, but so is Kim Jong Ill and no way is Senator Helms going to mistake IL for a Roman numeral ... I mean he isn't going to read 'Kim Jong the 49th is he ?' hmmm how about Kim Jong ILL what could that be ... let me see 50 minus 50 minus one how about Kim Jong the minus first."

This post is a blot on the internets, but at least I didn't have an accident so it's OK.

* update. My correction of Helms' first error is different from the quote at http://thechinadesk.tripod.com. I have edited my quote of http://thechinadesk.tripod.com's quote of Helms.