Saturday, February 15, 2014
Global Savings Glut Skit Pitch
Three planets walk into a bar. It's the dive where planets grow to guzzle cubic megameters of beer and complain about the kids these days. Mars complains about kids these days riding around on rovers and littering jelly donuts (he'd tell them to get off of his lawn but he hasn't had one since the water dried up). Earth says that's nothing, she's dealing with a (threatening music) Globalll Saaavings glut The other planets ask what exactly that is. Earth explains that the fundamental problem is that there are all of these incredibly hard working and productive Chinese who recently were incredibly hard working and poor Chinese so they haven't figured out that to be happy they need to consume as much as Japanese (they don't even believe the crazy stories they hear about how much Americans consume). So they produce all this stuff and the only way to get it all bought is for to big to fail banks to lend to bound to default consumers in countries where people know how to consume. Also too, the hard working Chinese who don't expect to consume much are spewing huge amounts of C02 and S02 and kitchensink02 out into the atmosphere. So the other planets laugh until they spill gigaliters of beer and say that all planets should have such problems. And Mercury says so Earth howsabout you get those incredibly hard working productive Chinese who don't consume enough to spend their energy making antipollution equipment and mwindmills and photovoltaic cells ? And Earth says "I never thought of that (except for the photovoltaic cells)" and all the other planets laugh until they spill teraliters of bear and say "Wait Earth you have too much production of goods, too little consumption of goods and huge problems which require gigantic amounts of work which could otherwise go into producing goods and you haven't put two and two together ? Are you stupid Earth ?" I mean are you stupid Earth ?